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  • Writer's pictureLES HENSON

Take Me to Your Leader

Updated: Jan 29, 2020

A group of inter-planetary space travellers from a galaxy far far away landed in America and asked, ”Where is your leader?” They were then taken to meet President Donald Trump, whom they perceived to be a rather overweight funny looking man with strange hair. Upon being introduced to the President, they explained where they were from and why they had come. Then, they asked him to tell them something about himself and his country. The President then explained, “I am great, really great! There is no one greater. I am very, very great! Really great! I am smart, really smart I went to the best Colleges, College. I am smart there is no one smarter! I mean I have a really high IQ no one’s got a higher IQ it is so high really high unbelievably high extremely high no one higher! I am rich very rich I mean rich no one richer! I am smart and rich unbelievably smart and rich really rich! I will make ‘America Great Again’ really really great I mean great no one greater. Look Rocket Men, I am really powerful I have a big button. No one’s got a bigger button it’s a really big button none bigger it is so big! It brings fire and fury. It's so powerful I mean really powerful unbelievably powerful incredibly powerful. I MEAN POWERFUL!” After this very enlightening conversation, they realised that this inarticulate man with the vocabulary of a petulant teenager was somewhat strange. They then asked him whether they would be welcome back to which he replied, “No one comes in unless I say, I am building a great big high wall I mean a really big big wall no one has a greater wall than I am building to keep the really bad bad I mean bad people out. It’s a great wall really great great I mean great very great!” A little confused space visitors said their goodbyes and excused themselves and returned to their spacecraft. After taking off and when they were on their way back home to their own planet and galaxy they held a debriefing and decided that there was no intelligent life on planet Earth and renamed this strange planet, Planet Moronica.

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